Probably time to be drawing things to a conclusion but I did want to take a little time to reflect on some of the implications (or application) of what has gone before. Hellerman writes a chapter on salvation as a "Community-Creating" event where he concludes, 'It is time to inform our people that conversion to Christ involves both our justification and our familification, that we gain a new Father and a new set of brothers and sisters when we respond to the gospel. It is time to communicate the biblical reality that personal salvation is a community-creating event and to trust God to change our lives and the lives of our churches accordingly.' In that sense our presentation of the gospel needs to clearly include the truth that commitment to Jesus also involves commitment to God's group.He identifies four New Testament family values that can help serve us as a roadmap as we seek to navigate the choppy waters of Christian community (please excuse 'my' mixed metaphors!);
(i) We share our stuff with one another - most basic to Christian brotherhood is the sharing of material resources. Such a lesson in simplification is a significant challenge to our individualism and materialism,
(ii) We share our hearts with one another - this is what psychologist refer to as 'affective solidarity'. Are we seeking to develop both emotional health and emotional attachment, the affective sense of closeness and intimacy that the Holy Spirit helps to weave into our lives as we spend time together. Can we be real without fear?
(iii) We stay, embrace the pain, and grow up with one another - he quotes from George Barna's summary of the typical attitudes of Christians in America today towards the 'local church';
(a) 'we' prefer a variety of church experiences, rather than getting the most out of all that a single community has to offer
(b) 'we' think that spiritual enlightenment comes from diligence in a discovery process, rather than from commitment to a faith community and perspective
(c) 'we' view religion as a commodity that we consume, rather than one in which we invest ourselves
(d) 'we' are transient - 15 to 20 percent of all households relocate each year
This reminded me again of what he said on page one of the introduction, 'people who leave do not grow'. This is not to say it is never right to leave, but rather we rarely grow through leaving, but through engaging.
(iv) Family is about more than we, the wife and the kids - in the God whether we are single or married, God wants us to subordinate ourselves to our overarching common bond as brothers and sisters in Jesus' kingdom family. I think that so some extent, the lack of this today can often lead singles to think that they are not fully part of the 'family of God' in our churches.
Many of us grew up with a set of relational priorities that went something like this;
(1st) God - (2nd) Family - (3rd) Church - (4th) Others
jesus and his followers view things quite differently as (1) and (3) cannot really be differentiated against. Loyalty to God was tangibly expressed in loyalty to God's family so our priority list should read something like this;
(1st) God's Family - (2nd) My Family - (3rd) Others
It is not our job to create community - God already exists in community and has invite dus in through His Son. We have been saved to his eternal family and so already are, for better or worse, brothers and sisters in Christ. Now we just need to learn to live into our new identity and reality.
4 comments:
I liked your comments about hanging in there with each other ('enduring pain'), and 'affective solidarity' (hey, I'm 99%ile succorance!). Easier said than done, but still good.
I'd like to toss out some opposing ideas to one thing you said, and hear any thoughts you or others might have in response.
You also wrote:
Many of us grew up with a set of relational priorities that went something like this;
(1st) God - (2nd) Family - (3rd) Church - (4th) Others
jesus and his followers view things quite differently as (1) and (3) cannot really be differentiated against. Loyalty to God was tangibly expressed in loyalty to God's family so our priority list should read something like this;
(1st) God's Family - (2nd) My Family - (3rd) Others
If I'm understanding you correctly (and I'm not sure I am), that's a tough one, and hardly seems clear cut scripturally. "Love your wife as Christ loved the Church"... "Do not exasperate your children" ... "Love your 'near ones' (neighbor, wife, kids)" ... "Train up a child in the way he should go" ... "Put their religion into practice by caring for their own family" ... "If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever."
I know there are many passages available to support prioritizing God's family over my family. I've seen many people perhaps mistakenly prioritize family to the near complete exclusion of the needs of God's family. But it seems the pendulum of your argument might be swinging past center in the other direction.
I can totally understand your valid concern about singles feeling left out. But the answer of reversing polarity would seem to just replace the left-out single with my son or daughter who feels I've prioritized them below God's family. When I see the trail of relational wreckage so often left in the wake of those who've prioritized God's family over their family, I dunno, it's hard to get there with ya.
But beyond the discussion of "shoulds" of relational prioritization, there is this nagging sense that it's the wrong conversation in the first place. I can't help wondering if it isn't really all a moot point; that when we experience 'affective solidarity' through mutual care, when we are moved by compassion and see others as God sees them, then there's no question about the rest, it follows out of a compulsion of love and compassion, with a generosity that far exceeds anything we could engender through the rational or nail down with a general rule.
You are making me think and examine my ideas, and that's good, so thanks! I look forward to hearing yours and others' thoughts.
I don't think that the priority order means that we do not still love family and others. Also, when you speak of your own family, your children would presumably be part of the family of God also. It becomes an issue I think when an unbeliever family member (parent, spouse, sibling) wants to lead us in a direction that is inconsistent with Christ's teaching. This is not about neglecting our children for the sake of the church but is recognizing the importance of Jesus' words, "Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?" 49Pointing to his disciples, he said, "Here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother." [Matt 12:48-49]
Thanks for that clarification. Merry Christmas!
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