AMiA Network Gathering ... further reflection

Last week I promised that I would talk a little about the specific subject that Reggie McNeal spoke about during our network gathering in Little Rock. This was certainly the highlight of the gathering for me and Reggie's presentation style and wit certainly kept us engaged. He was presenting material from his book, "Practicing Greatness: 7 Disciplines of Extraordinary Spiritual Leaders". Click here for more information on the book.

Here's an extract of my notes from the day ...

Great leaders bless people – portals for the kingdom of God.

Jesus doesn’t disallow greatness, just puts it in a different context – “like a little child” – not wrong to be ambitious for greatness

Greatness involves SERVICE and HUMILTIY … all about heart attitude, not external position

Service involves COMPETENCY and SKILL SET

1. Discipline of SELF-AWARENESS

If you don’t know who you are, you don’t know why you do what you do (comes with living but not automatically). People can be in their 50s/60s and still be very unaware personally

- Family of origin (knowing loved, secure, dealing with conflict (biggie), etc) - Great leaders take responsibility for personal growth to overcome obstacles

- Talent – what giftedness you bring to the table

o Hidden addictions/compulsions

o Dark sides (we all have them – arrogance one of the hardest to deal with)

- Personality (God does not call us in spite of who we are, but because of who we are)

- Life Experiences (if you’re looking for God in your life, look for the “new” things)

- Passions/Interests (might God be interested in what you enjoy doing?)

These things help us become more strategic and operate out of our “sweet spot”

When did you first become aware that you were a leader? … good question to ask

Never too late (or too soon) to start this journey of self-awareness

2. Discipline of SELF-MANAGEMENT

- Difficult emotions (not wrong to have emotions) – e.g. fear, anger, etc (often we’re not aware of the motivating emotion)

- Time

- Money

- Bodies

- Brains (negative people single most brain-draining – great leaders manage exposure to such people) Protein is good brain food!

- Boundaries – can’t rely on emotions when comes to boundary adjustments because because they have been ‘bent’ towards an unhealthy position

o ‘compliants’ – hard to say ‘no’ due to desire for acceptance

o ‘avoidance’ – build high walls, can’t get in

o ‘controllers’ – passive controllers give most personal pain, know how to hook you, bait is guilt

- Expectations – managing them

o Of people in leadership constellation (eg Jesus with disciples)

o Your expectations of yourself

o Of your followers – don’t set yourself up for disappointment

3. Discipline of SELF-DEVELOPMENT

- Lifelong learning also includes an amount of unlearning (see how Paul had so much ‘unlearning’ to embrace the message of Christ – that by a Pharisee) In a relationship we are constantly unlearning things

- Building upon your strengths (talents issue), not develop/focus on weaknesses

o Gallows Strength Finder

o What makes you feel really alive? Comes easy to you, get feedback on, get better at Your talent will show up in any assignment

o God didn’t make people to get work done, he made work to get people done.

o Burnout happens because we get worn down by the minutiae of things that give us no energy

o Your strengths are also your needs – you need to do what you’re good at

- need to figure out how you ‘lower your rent’ to focus on what you are good at, as well as release others to do what they are good at

- recruit, partner with others (for the grunt work!), outsource (if you can) or quit doing it

4. Discipline of MISSION

Jesus had to go to the nearby villages also. That’s why he came, not to keep ministering to the crowds. [People are drawn to winning causes not losing teams.] Great leaders know why they are on the planet and they are prosecuting that mission. This terrifies the enemy. He uses;

- Discouragement (why we all need cheerleaders in our lives]

- Debilitation (such as operating in areas for which not talented)

- Distraction (biggie)

5. Discipline of DECISIONING

Great leaders make fewer, better decisions. Learn from your decision-making process. Number of components involved;

- Information – right amount at right rate

- Are we answering the right question?

- Do you have the right people involved?

- “God help me see what you see” – prayer to pray for 90min in a park, Starbucks, mall, etc.

- Is this the right timing?

- Do we know the results we expect?

6. Discipline of BELONGING

[People vote for the problems they know rather than the problems they don’t know]

- For some your family don’t get it, but it doesn’t have to be the book on you

- Make FRIENDS!

- Co-workers, mentors, different groups to which you can belong

- Great leaders value community, they understand they’re better because they are connected to others

- Beware the lone ranger leader

7. Discipline of ALONENESS

Great leaders practice aloneness. We all experience wilderness, sometimes because we’re driven there, due to our mistakes, we may seek it out, you’re left alone by others, a spouse walks out, times in our life when we’re suddenly isolated.

Great leaders treat this time differently from most who want out, want to tell everyone what they’re going through. Great leaders ask what they can learn from the experience about God, me, etc. They leave the timing of release in God’s hands.