Core Practice #4: Love One Another

"be imitators of God as dear children.
And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us,
an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma."
[Eph 5:1-2]

"walk in light ... walk circumspectly ...
be filled with the Spirit - submitting to one another"
[Eph 5:8c, 15a, 18b, 21]

This past weekend we tackled the 'thorny' subject of accountability, in the context of loving one another. I say thorny because the word itself carries baggage for some of us. We have had bad, hurtful, even traumatic experiences. Surely it's safer to simply concern myself with being accountable to God but not to other people. I don't think the Scriptures, or love for that matter, allow us to get away with this. True committed relationships naturally imply and call for accountability. The problem has more to do with incomplete or badly applied accountability. So let's correct that (as best we're able), rather than "throw out the baby ...".

Accountability is a Relational Need we all have. If we love one another, we will be concerned for one another's well-being and growth. When we glimpse something of the significance of our unity in Christ, we will understand how much one person's choices affect us all to varying degrees. We must jettison our "independent" mentality as we now belong to one another. We define accountability in this way:-

"giving and receiving (mutual) feedback consistent with the keeping of commitments made"

We must run a mile from accountability without relationship, as expressed through loving commitment. Therefore it needs to happen as we;

• Give First (take initiative to think of others and communicate care in some way)
• Provide Encouragement (by being there and speaking words that build up - don't just think them)
• Grow in 'Relational Courage' (to both give and receive to/from one another) - this is what is needed to do what we're told to do in Eph 4:15 ... "speak the truth in love"

Accountability is not to be imposed upon another but invited from another for ourselves. We are to seek to develop some relationships that provide this kind of security and support, trusting that it will be reciprocated. We are inviting people to hold us to what we are committing ourselves to become. We cannot grow ourselves by ourselves, we are not meant to. That is just a place we often find ourselves due to painful experiences in the past. Such 'aloneness' is not good for us, it never has been, it just may appear that way.

A couple of helpful questions to think about:

1. What commitments are you making that require accountability/support?
2. Who do we see as being key relationships in our lives that express this covenantal love?

"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another."
[John 13:34-35]